Module 04 · Determinants of Initial Attraction初始吸引的决定因素
Reciprocal Liking相互喜欢
Overview 概述
Many people grew up watching the children’s television program Barney, whose theme song (“Won’t you say you love me, too?”) suggests that, if you tell someone you like them, they are more likely to like you back. Is there such a thing as reciprocal liking? The short answer is yes. In fact, reciprocity of liking is a strong determinant of friendship and attraction. In other words, knowing someone likes you makes it more likely that you will like them (Aronson & Worchel, 1966; Condon & Crano, 1988).
许多人长大时看过儿童电视节目《巴尼》，其主题曲（《你也会说爱我吗？》）暗示如果你告诉某人你喜欢他们，他们更有可能也喜欢你。是否存在相互喜欢这种现象？简短的答案是肯定的。事实上，喜欢的相互性是友谊和吸引力的一个强有力决定因素。换句话说，知道某人喜欢你，会让你更有可能也喜欢他们（Aronson & Worchel，1966；Condon & Crano，1988）。
Research Support 研究支持
In an experiment involving reciprocal liking, social psychologists Matthew Montoya and Chet Insko (2008) told participants that they would be working on a task with a partner. To enable partners to become acquainted, all participants completed a questionnaire of their likes and dislikes (e.g., “What is your favorite movie?”). These questionnaires were never shared, and each participant instead received the same somewhat bland information about their future partner. Before working with their partner, all participants were also asked to provide a brief evaluation of the experiment. Montoya and Insko arranged it so that each participant thought they were seeing their partner’s evaluation, but no one was actually given that evaluation. Rather, the researchers replaced the actual feedback from the partners so that the participants received information that either did or did not indicate reciprocal liking. For example, some people saw, “I enjoyed reading my partner’s responses. She seems like a really fun and interesting person. I would really like to get to know her better” (reciprocal liking condition), whereas others saw, “It was interesting to be able to read my partner’s responses. This experiment seems like it will be really fun and interesting. I would really like to do more experiments like this one” (control condition) (p. 483). Participants then answered questions about their perceptions of their partner. As expected, the researchers found that participants who were told that their partner liked them felt more pleasant, warm, and friendly toward their partner than did participants in the control condition. Put another way, the reciprocal liking hypothesis was supported.
在涉及相互喜欢的一项实验中，社会心理学家马修·蒙特亚和切特·英斯克（2008 年）告诉参与者他们将和一个伙伴一起完成任务。为了使伙伴们相互了解，所有参与者都完成了一份关于他们喜好和厌恶的调查问卷（例如：“你最喜欢的电影是什么？”）。这些问卷从未被分享，每位参与者反而收到了关于他们未来伙伴的相同且有些平淡的信息。在开始与他们的伙伴合作之前，所有参与者还被要求对实验进行简要评估。蒙特亚和英斯克安排了这样一项计划，让每位参与者都认为他们在看到他们的伙伴的评估，但实际上没有人被给予那个评估。相反，研究人员用实际的反馈替换了伙伴的反馈，使得参与者接收到的信息要么表明相互喜欢，要么不表明相互喜欢。例如，有些人看到，“我喜欢阅读我伙伴的回答。她看起来真的很有趣和有趣。我真的想更好地了解她”（相互喜欢条件），而其他人看到，“能够阅读我伙伴的回答很有趣。 这个实验看起来会非常有趣和吸引人。我真的很想进行更多这样的实验”（控制条件）（第 483 页）。参与者随后回答了关于他们对伴侣感知的问题。正如预期的那样，研究人员发现被告知他们的伴侣喜欢他们的参与者比控制条件下的参与者对伴侣感到更愉快、温暖和友好。换句话说，相互喜欢假设得到了支持。
As you can see, reciprocal liking is powerful for many reasons. Being liked reinforces our positive impressions of ourselves. When a person likes us, it also suggests the likelihood of future positive interactions and positive intentions toward us in the future (Montoya & Insko, 2008).
如您所见，相互喜欢有许多原因使其强大。被人喜欢可以加强我们对自己的积极印象。当一个人喜欢我们时，这也暗示了未来可能发生的积极互动以及未来对我们有积极意图的可能性（Montoya & Insko，2008）。
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy 自我实现的预言
One final note about how using reciprocal liking can help or harm your ability to get people to like you: Reciprocal liking can create a self-fulfilling prophecy—a situation in which a person’s expectations about another person make themselves come true. In particular, one person’s expectations about another person lead to a change in their own behavior which in turn leads to a change in the other person’s behavior consistent with their original expectations. Specifically, thinking someone likes you or dislikes you can lead to their actually liking or disliking you via the mechanism shown in the following figure, Reciprocal Liking Creates a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.
关于使用相互喜欢如何帮助或损害你吸引他人喜欢的能力的最后一则笔记：相互喜欢可以创造一个自我实现的预言——一种一个人的对另一个人的期望使他们自己的期望成真的情况。特别是，一个人对另一个人的期望导致他们自己的行为发生变化，进而导致另一个人的行为与他们的原始期望一致发生变化。具体来说，认为某人喜欢你或不喜欢你，可以通过以下图示所示的机制，实际上导致他们真的喜欢你或不喜欢你，即相互喜欢创造自我实现的预言。
Reciprocal Liking Creates a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy 相互喜爱创造自我实现的预言
Note. Two flowcharts depicting two ways that reciprocal liking can generate a self-fulfilling prophecy are shown. In both of these cases people’s expectations about whether someone likes them or dislikes them leads to that other person actually liking or disliking them. The first flowchart illustrates reciprocal liking. First, you think someone likes you. Then, you come to like that person via reciprocal liking. Then, you behave nicely to that person. Finally, that person comes to like you. The second flowchart illustrates reciprocal disliking. First, you think someone dislikes you. Then, you come to dislike that person via reciprocal liking. Then, you behave rudely to that person. Finally, that person comes to dislike you.
注意。展示了两个流程图，描述了相互喜欢如何产生自我实现的预言的两种方式。在这两种情况下，人们对某人是否喜欢自己或不喜欢自己的期望，导致那个人实际上喜欢或不喜欢自己。第一个流程图说明了相互喜欢。首先，你认为某人喜欢你。然后，通过相互喜欢，你开始喜欢那个人。然后，你对该人表现得很好。最后，那个人开始喜欢你。第二个流程图说明了相互不喜欢。首先，你认为某人不喜欢你。然后，通过相互喜欢，你开始不喜欢那个人。然后，你对该人表现得粗鲁。最后，那个人开始不喜欢你。
So, remember: If, at the beginning of a first date, you think your date does like you or doesn’t like you, you’re probably right!
所以，记住：如果在第一次约会的开始，你认为对方喜欢你或者不喜欢你，你很可能是对的！